Difference between revisions of "GA-Classes"

Revision as of 23:31, 21 February 2018

The only thing more dangerous than an asshole is a trained asshole. This is to let you know who to hide from and why.

Warrior

There's a couple different ways to make a rat dead, but when it comes down to it, nothing beats whacking him till he stops moving. That's the "noble way of the blade" as the elf pukes will tell you. Nothing noble about it, it's just *whack* *twitch* *whack* *twitch* *whack* *twitch* *whack* *dead*. You feel noble now, Charlie?

Fighter, now there's honest. I got a stick and I'm gonna hit ya with it. Nothing subtle, nothing false. No brain required.

Barbarian? That's fighter plus crazy, how can that go wrong? Lots of big thick Orcs like to go with this one. Not my taste. Problem with being so mad you can't feel it? You can't feel when you are dead! No thank you mister barbarian trainer, I like having enough think left in me to know when to break wind and make wind.

Paladin can go straight to hell man. Too violent to Cleric, too yellow to Fighter. They so yellow that yellow actually comes out of them. I mean seriously, "I don't hit hard enough God help me! I gettin hit to much God help me! I bleeding too much God help me!" Fuckers can't finish a fight without GodMode. Here is what you do with them, flip their full plate armored asses on their back and poke them with a sharp stick like the turtles they are.

Now Ranger, these guys are dangerous. Not only do they actually study how to kill somebody, they study how to FIND them and they are damned artists at putting one between your eyes. Anybody who will not only smell your crap but taste it to figure out which bush you used to wipe I don't want to mess with.

Monks are just asking for it. You think "Hey thats an easy mark, no blades anywhere" and next thing you know you got a foot halfway up your mud squirter. Thing about them is they don't have nothing worth taking anyhow so best to just leave them alone to begin with. Also, if they look blind then roll an Ogre at them cuz watching a blind monk obliterate a giant is a damn spectator sport I tell you what.

Diviners

A Cleric is nothing more than a buttsniffer in clean robes. None of their power is theirs and nothing is really their fault. God's will. My ass. The real assholes are the ones who will take your hard earned kill and wake them back up. Take these guys out first or you will have to murder everyone twice.

When a Druid has a bad day, somebody dies. Too much rain? Sacrifice. Not enough rain? Sacrifice. Hemorrhoids flare up on you? Fucking sacrifice. Steer clear of these crazy sumbitches.

Some people will tell you that a Warlock is arcane because of the type of magic he throws but don't let that fool you. They suck for their supper just like any other cleric, only difference is they have a receipt.

Rogue

Wizard